They Tell Me I Look Dead Inside
by JadeDragon220
Summary: One and two-shots featuring my character, Commando. Most of what happens in this story will not occur in the main fic.


So this is my attempt at writing something dark. Tell me how I did, will you?

I think I'll call this the Reach!Verse. It's set something after the Reach took over, _wayyy _before Bart's birth. Commando is in her early twenties.

* * *

We should've killed him when we had the chance.

That's all I can think about, now. I should've done it myself. As soon as I found out that the scarab couldn't be removed, I should've picked up the nearest kitchen knife and plunged it into Jaime's puny little chest, consequences be damned.

They tell me I look dead inside.

I say, living in this hell, how could you be anything else?

"I'm heading home." I called. "See ya later, Babs."

"Leaving early again?" Barbara pushed her glasses back up her nose. "If you keep doing that, you won't meet your work quota..."

I waved away her away. "They won't notice me. They're too busy chasing down the metas."

"Jill..." She rubbed her forehead. "You are my friend, but if you don't shape up I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to find another job."

"...You're kidding, right?" I balled my hands into fists. "Who else will hire me? It's hard enough out there to be unemployed, but with _my_ background, I..."

"I know." She frowned. "But I have to worry about _all _of my workers, Jill, not just you."

"I'll come in extra early tomorrow, I promise." I bit the inside of my cheek. "Please, Barb, I just need to get home. It's...It's Isabella's birthday. If I'm not there she'll be heartbroken."

Barbara's resolve faltered. She never could resist little kids. "...Alright, then. I'll let it slide. But I mean what I said, Jackson. This is your last warning. The Reach doesn't tolerate slackers, so neither can I."

"Thanks, Barbara. You're the best." I smiled a bit. "Do you have someone to take you home?"

She nodded. "I'm perfectly capable of taking myself, you know, but my damn wheelchair keeps misbehaving."

"Did you apply for a new one yet?"

"Yes..." She rolled her eyes. "But you know how those things go."

"Yeah..." I grabbed my bag off of the floor. "Can't they speed things along because you manage one of the farms?"

"You'd think so, right?"

"Huh. Good luck, Barb. You're gonna need it." I slung my pack over my shoulder.

"See you tomorrow. Extra early, right?"

"Right." I braced myself and stepped out into the snow. It was bitterly cold, but I wasn't wearing a coat. Since the Reach has decided that being warm isn't vital for life, I'd need to fill out an application if I wanted one. I could easily get approved because I'm under thirty and I work in food production, but if I did they probably wouldn't let me get one for Isabella when she grew out of hers next year. Digging my hands into my pockets to keep them warm, I turned and started for home. I could've taken the bus, but I wasn't in the mood for it. Being scanned and questioned for twenty minutes outside in the freezing cold just wasn't worth it. Not when I lived within walking distance of the farm.

Then again, walking does have it's inconveniences.

"Hey there, little lady."

"Fuck off, Turner."

"C'mon, babe." He slurred. "Don't be like that."

If there was one person I wouldn't mind seeing obliterated, it was Maurice Turner. No one knows why the Reach hasn't gotten rid of him by now, considering all he does is drink all day and stumble around town all day harassing people. Maybe he made some sort of deal with them. What Turner has to offer them that they'd actually _want_ is beyond me, but it's all I could think of.

"Just one night?" Turner asked.

Disgusted, I took a step back. "I don't think your wife would like that very much."

"She doesn't have to know."

"I don't have time for this." I hissed.

"Ooh, kitty has _claws_."

Frustrated and annoyed, I brushed past Turner and hurried down the street. Turner shouted obscenities at me for awhile, but then his voice wavered and died. Maybe he got say another girl leaving work and decided to try his luck with her. Or maybe he passed out and would freeze to death in the snow bank. If there really is a God, He'd let it be the latter.

When I reached my apartment building, I immediately went around back and climbed up the fire escape. I'd forgotten my identification at home that morning, and they wouldn't let me inside without it. They _know_ that I live there and that I always pay my rent on time, but they have to abide by the Reach's rules.

I suspect that the Reach only enforces these rules because they _can_.

I reached the top floor and clambered in through the window, relieved that no one locked it when I left for work. Otherwise I'd have to smash it open, and that would've just caused more problems than it solved. I shucked off my boots, getting mud on the living room floor in the process.

"Well, that's just _fantastic_." I groaned. "...Oh, well. The dirt will still be there in a few hours. I'll get it then." I rubbed my eyes, knowing very well that the dirt would probably stay on that carpet for _weeks_ until I remembered it was there and did something about it. I stumbled down the hall, pulling off my light blue work clothes and tossing them aside as I went. I aimed for the laundry bin, but I don't all of them quite made it.

I yanked an oversized t-shirt over my head and crawled into bed beside my boyfriend. In his sleep, he was so boyish and peaceful he almost didn't look like himself. Smiling softly, I reached out to brush a lock of hair out of his eyes. He mumbled something unintelligible and rolled over. I rolled my eyes and cuddled against his back instead, listening to his heartbeat for a bit before I gently shook him awake.

"Hey, you." I chuckled. "You gotta get up or you'll never sleep tonight."

"Go 'way, Jill. Wann _sleep."_

_"_C'mon, babe. _Up_." I nudged him. "Don't make me get the bucket."

His eyes flew open. "You wouldn't."

"Oh, yes I would." I smirked.

"...You are a cruel, evil woman."

"And you love me for it."

He stretched and rolled towards me, kissing the tip of my nose. "You're home early."

"Don't start."

"What? I didn't say anything."

"You gave my that look you always get right before you yell."

"Why'd Barb let you come home so early anyway?"

"Told her it was Izzy's birthday."

"So you lied."

"Here we go again..."

"Okay, okay. I'm done." He relented. "I just worry about you, is all."

"I know, I know..." I ran my fingers through his ginger hair. "And I worry about you. You don't get enough sleep."

"You have _got_ to be joking." He frowned. "I was _trying _to sleep but my mean girlfriend woke me up."

"Hm. If that's the way you feel, maybe your mean girlfriend should just pack up her stuff and leave."

"Stop that."

"I'm only kidding." I kissed his cheek. "Stop being so sensitive."

"I'm _not_." He pouted.

"And now you're whining." I teased. "Don't be such a child, Harper."

"Don't be such a bitch, Jackson."

"You sure know how to woo a lady, don't you?"

He just shrugged.

"Where are the girls?"

"Takin' their naps."

"You fell asleep while you were supposed to be watching them. A+ parenting there, Roy-Boy."

"I have the baby monitor on."

"You didn't wake up when I came in, and I'm as stealthy as a wounded hippopotamus."

"Point taken."

"...So you're saying I'm as fat as a hippo?"

"What? _No_. I was just _agreeing _with you..."

"...Agreeing that I'm like a hippo. Thanks, dude."

"I just...I just..." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm going back to bed."

"I don't think so. It's your turn to make dinner, jerkface." I stood up and went over to the girls' room. Lian was already awake and coloring in Simba in her new book.

_"Woah!_You used actual paper this time." I ruffled her hair. "Good girl."

"Not 'sposed to color on the walls." She nodded.

"_Exactly_." I tweaked her nose.

"Daddy fell asleep."

"I know." I sighed.

"Daddy works too much." She somberly picked up a purple crayon.

I swallowed hard and changed the subject. "Izzy still asleep?"

"Yeah." Lian giggled. "She _snores_."

"Don't pick on your sister, Li." I scolded gently and sat down on Isabella's bed, rubbing her back. "C'mon, sweetheart. Wake up."

Isabella's eyes opened, white lashes fluttering against pale blue skin. "'M _tired_."

"You're just like your daddy." I poked her gently. "All you two want to do is sleep all day."

Isabella just blinked at me. I sighed and picked her up, beckoning to Lian with my other hand. "Let's go see if Daddy rolled himself out of bed yet."

Lian darted ahead of me, giggling madly. Isabella whined and flailed her arms until I sat her down so she could go racing after her sister. Anything Lian did, Isabella did too. I knew she'd grow out of it, but I wished Izzy would make up her own mind about things. It was probably just a sister thing. Lian and Isabella might not be blood, but that didn't mean they weren't real sisters. When Roy and I got together, we both agreed that I wouldn't make Izzy call him daddy, and he wouldn't make Lian call me mommy. But after some time, the girls made the decision for themselves. I love both the girls with all my heart and Roy is a wonderful father.

When I walked into the kitchen, I found Roy standing in the middle of the kitchen holding a piece of paper. He was staring at it intently, brow furrowed. The girls were chasing each other around the living room.

"What's that, babe?" I asked.

Roy's head jerked. "Uh...Nothing. Something from work. What d'you want for dinner?"

"Hand it over." I frowned and stretched out my hand. "_Now_."

"Don't use your mom voice on me."

I scowled at him until he gave me the paper. My heart froze. "Why are they summoning you?"

"I...I don't know." He looked away. "Maybe I messed up at work or something."

"_Maybe_? Don't give me _maybes_, Roy."

He took me gently into his arms. "It's probably nothing."

"What if it isn't?"

"It is. I've been good. I'd never do anything to jeopardize us." He cupped my cheek. "No matter how much I'd like to punch those Reach motherfuckers in the mouth."

I smiled. "Very impressive."

"Actually, it's a good thing you quit work early. Otherwise I'd have been late." He winced. "I'm sorry. I know it's mu turn to make dinner, but..."

"It's fine." I held him close.

"I have to get going." Roy reluctantly untangled himself from me. He grabbed his identification off the table and kissed both of the girls on the head. Lian immediately turned back to her game. Isabella reached her arms up for a hug. Roy indulged her for a few moments before setting her back down and made his way to the door. He hesitated.

"See ya, babe." He smiled. "Love you."

"Love you too." I smiled back. _Please God, keep him safe. I can't lose him._

Roy left, then. Shutting the door softly so he didn't frighten Isabella. She didn't like loud noises. I turned back around and started on dinner.

That was the last time I ever saw him.

* * *

So...no idea where this came from. You like?

Just to be clear, the Roy in this chapter is Red Arrow. Arsenal hasn't won my love yet. Did the thing with Roy and Commando surprise you? :) ...I'm sorry, okay? He's sexy.

I'll take requests, but I cannot promise I'll have time for them.


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